Written by Smithy on January 15th, 2010
You may have seen the "Facebook Fine" stuff floating about the internet recently.
Faddy and Fletch from the Tartan Army Message Board has come up with a Tartan Army version.
Only count each fine once, no matter how many times you've done it. Only count it if you've done it on tour on on a match day at home.
1. Lost your Glengarry -£5
2. Lost your sporran - £5
3. Lost your phone - £5
4. Booed the team - £5
5. Flashed your arse at the locals on tour - £10
6. Worn boxers under your kilt - £10
7. Worn trainers with your kilt - £10
8. Talked about Scotland on Sky Sports News - £10
9. Booed an opponent's National anthem - £10
10. Had all your drink taken off you at customs - £10
11. Been in a bar/restaurant abroad and left without paying because you forgot that you pay at the end in almost every country in the World except Scotland - £15
12. Been in the home end at an away game (not England or Macedonia) - £15
13. Had a drink with Jimbers - £15
14. Taken drugs that are legal in the country your were in but not legal in Scotland - £20
15. Worn boxers over your jeans – £20
16. Lost your passport - £20
17. Been given a fixed penalty notice for drinking outside Hampden - £20
18. Been given a fixed penalty notice for pishing in the street - £20
19. Had an argument about club football - £20
20. Pulled a local girl on tour - £25
21. Pulled a local girl on tour, added her to Facebook and watched in horror as she added your girlfriend - £30
22. Pulled a Scottish girl on tour (not your bird) - £30
23. Been in the home end in Macedonia - £30
24. Been part of a pitch invasion - £35
25. Fallen asleep during a match - £35
26. Spent all your money in a casino - £35
27. Been a secret guest at a SFA meeting - £40
28. Taken time off work to watch Scotland play at any level other than the 1st team - £45
29. Been in the home end at Wembley - £50
30. Missed your flight - £50
31. Gone on tour with nothing but what you are wearing and a toothbrush - £55
32. Missed a Scotland game to watch a club game - £60
33. Been with a hooker - £75
34. Been with two hookers at the same time - £80
35. Been in a fight with a Scotland fan - £80
36. Got to a country via a country that England are about to play in (not England though) - £85
37. Lost your ticket - £90
38. Woke up next to a Scotland fan of the same sex that you didn't know - £95
39. Been arrested at a home match - £100
40. Spent all your time on tour trying to sell stuff to other fans - £110
41. Been with a hooker that hasn't always been a woman - £120
42. Booked a holiday and then realised it classes with a Scotland match - £120
43. Been on tour without your partner knowing you were going - £150
44. Stayed up boozing with the players until 9am days before an important qualifier - £175
45. Been arrested at an away match - £200
I have £135 in fines - not too bad! So how about you?
Posted in: Tartan Army - General
Written by Smithy on October 16th, 2009
Scotland have dropped 16 places in the FIFA World Rankings. This follows game losses to Norway, Netherlands and Japan. Unfortunately we've not been able to blame meaningless friendly for our drop this time.
The table leads with Brazil first, Spain second and Netherlands third - all are unchanged. England remain on 7th, Northern Ireland up one place to 30th and Wales drop 11 places to 78th.
Our only other annoinced game is v Czech Republic who move up 3 places to 15th.
Of our previous campaign, Iceland move up 9 places to 87th, and Macedonia drop 10 places to 66th.
Posted in: Tartan Army - General
Written by Smithy on July 22nd, 2009
In Hamburg over the weekend of July 20th and 21st, representatives of football supporters from across Europe met at the Second European Football Fans’ Congress to launch for the first time a legally-constituted, Europe-wide, independent, democratic and representative football fans organisation.
Football Supporters Europe (FSE) has been established to provide a representative collective voice for football fans and their organisations towards football and governmental authorities at European level. The conference, attended by more than 350 representatives from 29 countries representing some two million football fans, agreed on statutes and structures for the new organisation, and elected eight of their number to serve on FSE’s executive board.
The elected members are: Kevin Miles and Dave Boyle from England, Emilio Abejón from Spain, Christina Magnussen from Norway, Michal Riecansky from Slovakia, Shay Golub from Israel, the Belgian Dirk Vos and Tam Ferry from Scotland, all of whom are representatives of national fans’ organizations back in their home countries.
It was also announced at the Congress that the FSE is to organise and coordinate, through its Fans’ Embassy Department, a three-year project, “Fans’ Embassies Go East”, to develop the fans’ embassy network with a particular focus on Eastern Europe and Euro2012 in Poland and Ukraine. The project has been generously supported by UEFA, whose Executive Committee has decided to grant the project an overall budget of €500,000.
The event was organized in cooperation with the HSV Supporters Club, several fans’ groups of FC St.Pauli and together with both fans’ projects and the clubs themselves. Several workshops took place on topics such as “Kick-off times”, “Policing in football”, “Club licensing” or “Involvement of minority groups in football fan culture”, the results of which will be further elaborated and used as a basis for campaigning by working groups after the congress.
The European Fans’ Congress was also supported by UEFA, whilst the European football association fully acknowledges the independence of the network. William Gaillard, personal advisor to UEFA president Michel Platini, gave the keynote speech. Participation in the congress was free of charge, the congress had been sold out for weeks.
Further info
Football Supporters Europe (FSE) is an independent, representative network of football fans with its Coordinating Office located in Hamburg/Germany.
Fans‘ Embassies are specific info and support services, organized for fans and often also by fans at international football matches. They are aiming at ensuring a welcoming atmosphere, in particular for visiting supporters, by providing specific information and guidance relevant to fans. Experiences from previous tournaments, like Euro 2004, World Cup 2006 and UEFA Euro 2008 show that Fans’ Embassies are thereby making a significant overall contribution to the prevention of problems and tensions and can play an important role for the successful course of these major football events.
Press Contact:
Football Supporters Europe, Coordinating Office, P.O. Box 500403, 22704 Hamburg
Tel. +49 40 64 88 90 86
Posted in: Tartan Army - General
Written by Smithy on June 4th, 2009
Scotland has climbed another 2 places to 22nd place in the FIFA Coca Cola World Rankings. Even though Scotland hasn’t played a match in the past month points from over a year ago are now being “devalued”.
Spain remain top, with the Netherlands moving in to second place from thirds, and Germany dropping one place to third.
England moves up one place to sixth, Wales and Northern Ireland stay at 27th place.
Other teams relevant to Scotland:-
Norway drops 2 places to 47th.
Iceland drop 18 places to 93rd place
Macedonia stay put at 64th place
Japan moves up 4 places to 31st place.
Full rankings are here
Posted in: Tartan Army - General
Written by Smithy on March 4th, 2009
Ayr Tartan Army have launched an exclusive line of Tartan Army T-shirts as part of their fundraising efforts. Last year they managed to raise a stagering £22,000 from their "Walk to Hampden" - from Ayr! (more Info) All the t-shirts have been designed by club members and some of them are absolute crackers!
T-shirts are available from their online shop and are available in small, medium, large, XL and XXL (aka Tartan Army size!). Each of the t-shirts below are available in White, Blue or Red. Current price is only £12.99 each + P&P.
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Wembley '77
This T shirt brings the foot soldiers who invaded the pitch to celebrate the victory against the Auld Enemy alive. |
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Ally MacLeod - Legend
He is our Mohamed Ally ! |
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Dear God
Thank the man himself for all the things we like about Scotland. |
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Archie Gemmill Graphic
A brilliant graphical illustration of how That goal was scored in '78 |
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Archie Gemmill Commentry
Celebrate the best goal in Scotlands history, as spoken by David Coleman |
Posted in: Tartan Army - General
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